No Better Research

Chapter 11.

At The Foot

I've been downloading a lot of stand up recently. You know, no better reasearch than entertainment. Not the healthiest attitude since by the age of 12 my dad saw no problems in letting us (my brother and I) see films like PREDATOR, which is where I first learnt the word MUNDER FUCKER. You do not want to know where I learnt that (a.) It's MOTHER not MUNDER and (b.) it's not a very nice word to say to your teacher. There, in that cold dank smelling principal's office infested with roaches in it's corners and a metal cupboard which goes clang in the night, when something hits against it obviously, I found myself in an uncomfortable mood when I realised I wasn't here to get happy face stamps or a golden star pasted into my workbook. I think one of the first times in life we ever start succumbing to the will of the system is the follow up to a teacher's "Good morning students" phrase that we are taught. Everyone stands up, and in a chorus line most professional, sings back the words "Good moooorrrnning aauuunnnttttyyyyyy." I'm still not aware of the actual TIME when they changed this word to TEACHER...OR of the conversation that took place among the staff which led to its changing, but I'm sure someone's age was a sensitive and important factor. We wore shorts back in grade school. Blue shorts. Dark blue, but that didn't make it any cooler. There was a time when a COOL kid's awesomely rebellious behaviour was justified when he came to school wearing grey pants. Which was of course the uniform we all had to wait to get to class 7 for. If you ever studied at Beaconhouse Public, you'd know this was pretty much the most motivating factor driving male kids to study harder and pass into the next grade. Grey pants. I was a fat and very unusual kid. It's not like I'm trying to sound unique, we're all wierd in our own little way, but it's just bothering sometimes when you step into a room with 5 people and two of them agree some new kid is wierd, and THREE of them agree some new girl just transferred is weird, but ALL of them agree that YOU'RE weird. I found most of my free time went in entertaining friends with hand shadow stories involving disturbingly horny dogs and their antics, since it was the easiest hand shadow to make, and eventually barking just isn't doing it for you. So there's always an easy way out isn't there? Some people learn how to make 300 different things in origami...some learn one hand shadow, but invent new ways to keep it interesting to the nearby 14 year olds. I remember cricket as a child. Watching it and feeling tired I mean. I never played much cricket. Got in the way of eating. Something about playing sports when you're not going to make a profession out of it seems like a whole lot work for pretty much nothing to me. I like results. And fast. I heard a performance on audio by comedian Dane Cook. He had this bit where he talked about how even when people rear end you in traffic, it's always YOUR fault somehow. I think I remember something like that being ripped off here. I despise unoriginality. It's the reason I'm so particular about anything I throw out there, which adds to the amount of time I take in doing anything in life. It creates a sense of identity when you work hard on your own thoughts. People should start doing that more often in this country. You know, NOT rip things off from lesser known Western entertainment in the hopes that someone won't RESEARCH their way into some of the deepest darkest secrets most Pakistani television shows today are founded on.

It's a reality. I saw a man the other day, at the foot of my apartment building while I was passing by to my place. He was looking at the way the entire area had been dug up to fix the drainage lines in the area. There were so many plastic bags. He seemed like someone who would greet the ban on polythen bags with open arms...only...he didn't have any. He was a beggar. And he only loved his country too much to be able to smile at the noise.

I'm going to go write. Nothing good coming out here.

Nothing funny.